Stephanie, Chris, and I went to Potomac Point Winery for lunch.  It was very nice.  I’m almost embarrassed to say that it’s fancier than most the places I go.  But you shouldn’t read into that that it was particularly fancy.  It’s more true to say I’m accustomed to places that could never be interpreted in any way as fancy.  Like Taco Bell.  Or IHOP.  When I’m feeling extravagant, maybe On the Border or Olive Garden.

I had an excellent glass of iced tea and the Greek Salad.  It was different, but very good and very fresh, and a good value for the price.  Except…I opted for the addition of shrimp on my salad.  I didn’t think they gave me $4 worth of shrimp, and the shrimp I did get tasted very shrimpy, if you know what I mean.  But the feta cheese and black olives were quite good.

Then Chris went back to work.  Stephanie and I stayed for a wine tasting – my first ever.  Stephanie’s experienced at this sort of thing, so I’m learning from her.

I tried 1 rose, 4 whites, and 3 reds, plus a port.  I admit that after the first 3 or 4, it became difficult to distinguish the subtle flavors.  But in the end we picked 4 that we liked a lot and bought them to share with Chris.  I even broke down and got the small bottle of the port, which we might save for after the summer when I’m completely finished with the BA in Biology.

Now I’m sitting on the back deck, watching the birds, blogging, listening to music, and getting ready to grill porkchops for dinner.  I’m a happy, fortunate, woman.

But while my images are fine, the Great Blue Heron photos posted on 10,000 Birds yesterday are magnificent.

Meanwhile, I’m off to bird banding.  I’ll probably see some GB Herons, but we don’t band them.  We don’t even want them in the nets – our nets would be shredded by such a large bird.  But they’re still wonderful to watch.

1. What do I want for me?
2. What do I want for ___  (the other person or thing involved)?
3. What do I want for this relationship?
4. How would I behave if that were true?

I can see this helping me in so many ways to remind myself to act in accordance with goals rather than mindlessly continuing bad habits.

I highly recommend subscribing to The Fluent Self.  (There’s RSS, or Google Reader, and probably other fancy ways to keep up with it.  I use Google Reader.)

I forgot to mention yesterday that after 3 years or so of growing my hair as long as I could stand it, Tuesday I decided I couldn’t stand it any longer.  I had it cut.  I don’t have before and after pictures to show, but suffice to say that it no longer reaches the middle of my back and I no longer have to adjust for laying on it or leaning back against it.  It’s still past my collar, but the top layer is only to my ears and it’s much thinner, cooler, and lighter.

Food

I’m back on the Paleo/Primal/Caveman (i.e. Atkins-plus) diet as of the last week or so.  I can tell a big difference in how I feel.  My joints don’t ache as much.  I have more energy and a clearer mind.  And I’ve lost a few pounds already, albeit part of that is simply water.

But at this point, I’m not really doing it for the weight loss.  (Although I would like to lose a significant number of pounds for many reasons, including vanity, though I have no desire to be a stick-figure Barbie Doll type.)

I’m sticking with it because the alternative is more pain and fatigue.  There is too much that I want to do other than cripple myself with pain, fatigue, or with having to carry around an extra 80 or so pounds.

Hablo español muy poco.

This afternoon I take my final exam in Spanish.  As long as I pass the class, I’ll be satisfied.  Plus I think my Philosophy of Science research paper is finished.  Two things (will be) down… two to go.

For someone who gave up writing…

I sure have a lot of writing projects in various stages of incompletion.  Several fiction projects, several non-fiction projects, and this blog.  And lots of art projects that got put on hold once the semester started way back in January.

Wow… it is mid-May already?  Time flies.

Despite my cruel and unusual neglect of my tropical fish over the past few months, amazingly all of them and the plants have survived.  I only lost one of my two snails.  They all should feel much better now, though, since I finally exchanged their water and pruned out all the dead leaves.  In a couple days I’ll go buy a new bulb for the aquarium top and will be able to post better pictures.

My Two Blue Gouramis

Robins

As you may remember, I bought a BirdCam when my husband and I discovered that an American Robin had built a nest literally right outside the window of one of our spare rooms.  Then, while trying to figure out the best way to mount it over the nest, we didn’t see any more activity at the nest and assumed it was abandoned.  I set the camera up to take photos of the feeders on the deck.

Then next time we glanced out, there were eggs in the nest.  That sneaky Robin had faked us out!  I didn’t move the BirdCam, however, because I didn’t want to spook the Robin and cause her to abandon the eggs.  So I used my Canon to get shots through the window, which accounts for the fuzziness of the images.  (I’ve never washed the outside of these windows, therefore there’s at least a decade’s worth of dust or whatever collects on windows.)

Nest on April 10, 2012. Three blue eggs. They looked just exactly like Easter candy.

Nest on April 16, 2012. Two of the eggs have hatched.

Nest on April 25, 2012. All three of the eggs hatched and all the nestlings appear to be strong and growing.

Nest on April 29, 2012. This is the last pictures of the babies in the nest. After this, they were gone. We can only assume they went out into the world to successfully make their way.

School

My last class for this semester was last Thursday, May 3rd.  I cannot tell you how relieved I am.  I still have a final exam tomorrow, and another one next Tuesday, and I have two papers due on Friday and Monday, but I don’t have to go to campus and sit through tedious classes wishing I were elsewhere anymore.  So that’s good.

Plus, I only have 1 more class and I’ll be done with the BA in Biology altogether.  I’m scheduled to take that class in July and August.  Then I’ll get my diploma and move on to other educational opportunities.  Like a master’s degree in Resource Interpretation.

This makes it sounds as if I don’t like school.  It’s more complicated than that.  I love learning.  I’ve learned a lot in the last 3 years.  And I appreciate being able to go back to a university at my age and study things that interest me.  What I’m tired of, however, is…..

• having to sit through classes that only deal superficially with topics that are dumbed down for 19 year olds,
• having to jump though hoops and be graded on it,
• being required to ask questions (or post them to discussion boards) that the instructors never bother to answer,
• being rushed through the lab experiments (since I’m not required to understand it, I only have to follow the lab ‘recipe’ then write up the results as if it had worked),
• listening to professors read their text-heavy Powerpoint slides verbatim,
• listening to professors (many of whom are the age of my own children) telling me to do things because it will be ‘good for me’
• or listening to the older professors lecture on how irresponsible students are and that we are all spoiled and lazy.  (No kidding-I’ve sat through more than one such tirade.  One instructor got so angry that she packed her stuff and walked out of the class.)

There’s more, but that plenty to get my point across.

Work

I’ve reapplied for the summer position with the National Park Service to be a park guide and visitor’s assistant at Prince William Forest Park.  I’m just waiting to hear if and when I’ll be able to get on full-time again.

That’s all my news, I think.

It was at the banding station (more specifically, in the shed of the banding station) where I found this little guy.

Me holding a young rat snake at Occoquan Bay NWR Bird Banding Station.

I’m not afraid of snakes.  Nor of bugs.  Nor of any other plant or animal that cannot hurt me.  And I have learned how to recognize which ones to be careful of.

For example, there was a freakin’ huge European Hornet caught in one of the nets yesterday morning.  He was around  2″ long and pissed off.  I knew better than to pluck him out bare handed.  One of my colleagues cut the hornet into segments with scissors, then another used a clothes pin to remove the pieces from the net.  But I routinely, but gently, pull dragonflies and crane flies out of the net and release them.

In addition to the birds, of course, all of who get a complimentary health check and jewelry before their release.

So, no bird banding for me this weekend, and no working at the park, and no hiking, and no biking, and no adventure of any kind.

However, due to modern technology, I can still blog from bed, do homework or work on my novel(s), read, and even watch some TV or movies on my computer.

I’d still get married to my wonderful husband of 30 years, and I’d still have our three children, but I’d handle so many things differently.  I’m sure I’d make some new mistakes in the process, but I’d avoid most of the old ones.

But there are three important things I’d change.

One is that I’d major in something different in college, then get a paying career going sooner.  I’d still be a writer and artist and photographer, but I wish I’d done more back in the day to turn my interests and skills into a career rather than letting self-doubt, depression, and ignorance keep me at home.

And that’s another thing – knowing what I know now, I’d get my depression treated much much sooner instead of wasting years being miserable.

And finally, I would have kept up running instead of letting self-doubt, depression, and ignorance, and other minor obstacles, make me quit and restart, quit and restart.  I would have gotten a handle on my compulsive overeating sooner and run more.

Okay.  So after thinking all that, I got to thinking… what’s stopping me now?  If these are the things I want, and that I would change, then what’s stopping me now?

Nothing is stopping me from changing my career direction.  I’m doing that.  I’m finishing up another degree this year and embarking on a new profession as an interpretive naturalist.  It’s a job I love and it harnesses all my skills and interests, from nature to writing and art to the perfect mix of indoor and outdoor and daily variety.  So that’s in progress.

As for the depression – that’s being handled.  Zoloft is my friend.

But what about the proper eating and exercise?  Hmmm.  Why do they seem so much harder than the others?  It’s not ignorance – I’ve studied the relevant knowledge for at least 20 years.  I know what to do and how to do it.  And I’ve had short-lived success.  I’ve lost weight (only to regain it) and I’ve gotten fit (only to lose it again).

So if I could go back 30 years, how would things be different?  Would I really be able to avoid gaining weight in the first place?  To get fit and stay there?  If so, why then, but not now?

Well, one difference would be that at the age of 19, I had less pain, more energy, and faster recuperation time.  I also had more ambition and enthusiasm to carry me through tough patches.  Now I’m (a little) old, achy, jaded, tired.  Everything seems to take more effort, injuries are more common, and healing takes longer.

And at the moment, I’m suffering through plantar fasciitis (again), a result of actually getting out and doing what I wanted to be doing instead of being lazy.  So it seems like I can’t win for losing.  So, I can’t start jogging again at the moment anyway, until my feet heal.

But it’s a moot point anyway.  I can’t turn back time and be 19 again.  All I can do is to do what I can do in the here and now.  I’m watching my calories and making good healthy food choices more than every before.  And I’m getting outside as much as I can while still nursing my painful feet.

What would you do differently, if you could turn back time?  And why aren’t you doing that now?

We drove here from Virginia – it’s about a 12 hour drive – and tomorrow we’ll be driving back.  For this trip we picked the No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency Series (on audiobook through Audible.com) by Alexander McCall Smith.  We’re in the middle of book 2: Tears of the Giraffe now.  It’s an excellent story, well-written, and intriguing, despite it not being the sort of action-packed danger and excitement we’ve come to expect in the United States.  Or perhaps, because of this, instead of ‘despite.’

Yesterday, I got out in the chilly overcast morning and went up the street to Ritchey Woods Nature Preserve for about an hour of birding.  Just the usual suspects, plus a rose-breasted grosbeak.

Then, this morning, I realized there’s only 2 more weeks of classes.  10 days.  Then finals week.

And I realized that I miss blogging – and a lot of other things – and that the least I could do was to check in with my readers.  I’ll be glad to be finished with classes.  I’m ready to move on with other things.

There’s nothing like a trip to help keep things in perspective. Every time I get away from the usual routine at home, I regain a clearer perspective on what I’m doing vs what I want to be doing.  How I want to live vs how I’m actually living.  These aren’t as far apart as they used to be.  But when I’m caught up in the routine at home amid the clutter and habits, it’s hard to see the gap between them.  Distance magnifies the gap.

I’d like to be bird banding more days per week.  Or out birding in general.  Or riding my bike more.  Or hiking and photographing things.

Or clearing out months of neglected and piled clutter before my house resembles those on the TV show Hoarders, which it is beginning to already.

Or painting some new pictures.  Or working on blogs, the revision of my novel, or any other writing that doesn’t involve citations to peer-reviewed journals.

There’s only a few more weeks of classes.  Less than 30 days.  I have several presentations, two research papers, and two final exams that have to be completed.  I’m just focused on the finish line, trying to get to the end.

In other news….

We set up the BirdCam to monitor the hummingbird, oriole, and platform feeders on the deck.

So far, the BirdCam has only caught a few squirrels.

Then we discovered that the Robin has laid 3 eggs in the nest and is sitting on them.  I got some still shots with my Canon, but we’re afraid that rigging up the BirdCam there now will disturb Mrs. Robin too much and she may abandon the nest.  So I have to monitor that one myself now.

Mrs Robin on her nest. (Only two of three eggs are visible; one is hidden behind her tail) Blurriness is due to dirty window.

The coolest thing about it is that the eggs actually look exactly like the Robin Egg Candies that they sell for Easter every year.  And they’re so tiny!

Like I didn’t have enough to juggle.  Oh well.  It is very cool that we’ll get to see baby robins in a week or so.